As a young man in my twenties, I wanted marriage and a family. I was involved in relationships that I felt were worthy of matrimony but had some miscalculations along the way. From a biblical perspective, Matthew 19:4-6 alludes to two beings of one flesh and no one being able to separate what God has joined together. I married in my mid-thirties. From a male perspective before marrying my wife I observed married men acting as though they were single. Some of the men though married still lived a single lifestyle. They would hang out, go to clubs, be financially irresponsible, and were continually unfaithful. Let’s be clear some married women exhibited similar behaviors.
Why marry if you do not wish to take the vows seriously?
As a Private Investigator I have been retained in divorce cases and sometimes found the person that retained me culpable in many instances. This was interesting to me because it was apparent that the person retaining my services had ulterior motives. They would attempt to sully their spouse’s name to mitigate spousal support, child support, or property division judgments. All is not fair in love and war. Civility trumps shadiness.
You ask why I am writing this article. I say, “it’s personal in two ways.” Firstly, because I have been married for thirty-three years and despite obstacles and challenges, I see the benefits of a good, enduring marriage.
Secondly, a person I care about is at a crossroads in her marriage. I am biased but the truth will set you free. This person I am speaking of has given one hundred and ten percent in her marriage. She has been there for her spouse through thick and thin, has started a business, and taken good care of their child while supporting her spouse in his endeavors. Her soon-to-be ex is claiming to be a victim. He is not owning any accountability for his wrongdoing. The right thing for him to do would be to move on and allow her to have a peaceful life. Whatever unfolds what I wish for my loved one is to remain steadfast, use her intellect and not her heart to make decisions, and learn to prioritize herself and her needs. We all should practice self-care and sometimes self-care involves removing toxic people from one’s life.
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Marvin Dixon/Founder
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