Submitted by: Dianne Cleveland-Sharp
VMG Team Member
A prior post from earlier this week was entitled “Marriage and Divorce.” The post spoke of being faithful, persevering, respecting vows, and overcoming obstacles and challenges to sustain a marriage. In the realm of divorce, the post spoke of one person’s inability to accept responsibility and consider allowing their spouse to move on and have a happy life. Further, the post elaborated on marriage and divorce, two opposite ends of the spectrum. Marriage starts the committed relationship and divorce ends it. Somewhere in the middle is where the relationship dynamics develop in a good way or in a not-so-good way.
Relationships are a typical way of life here in this country. There’s marriage and there’s dating. Marriage is a wonderful thing if two people marry for the right reason, love, and care for each other. Having worked in the field of Social Work for many years I’ve needed to view and examine many client relationships along with personal relationships and those of friends and family. My observations have led me to believe that people marry for many reasons. They marry for love, for financial gain, for physical attraction, for fear of being alone, for fear of never marrying, wanting a particular type to be their baby mama or baby daddy, jealously, possessiveness, and obsession among many others. I have seen instances where people stay married for a long time and do not even like each other. They stay married because they need each other’s financial support. There were other instances where one person in the relationship had insecurities and felt they might not find another person to care for them. There is a myriad of reasons for both married and single individuals to why they decide to stay together or go their separate ways.
The dynamics of relationships can be fluid. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes indifferent. I contend that the main goal of any relationship should be love, mutual support, peace, and happiness. It takes strength and courage to maintain or leave a relationship. If a relationship is good for you do the work to keep it going and do what is needed for mutual peace of mind. If a relationship is not making you happy find the strength and courage to leave. God does not want us to live an unhappy life. Strive for peace of mind. When peace of mind comes stress is minimized. You begin to realize and appreciate the little things in life such as health, strength, soundness of mind, food, shelter, and the love of family and friends among other things. When your mind is no longer cluttered with the toxicity of a dysfunctional relationship you can breathe. You appreciate your quiet time and not having to dance to someone else’s music. You know that though you might not be in a relationship you are still worthy, and it is a choice that some people do not dare to make. You chose to prioritize self-care in your life. This is what peace of mind looks like and it is a wonderful thing. Try it if you need to!
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