When Do I Stop Being My Brother’s Keeper
The Bible says, “You are your brother’s keeper”. I have no problem with helping
others. There are certain relatives and friends that I have helped over and over
again. They might’ve made some not-so-good financial or personal decisions
along the way. These decisions caused some strife or financial hardship for them.
In I ran, “the fixer”, trying to help and ensure they do not suffer. However, when
these individuals continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, what
do I do? I don’t mind helping but at what point does helping become enabling.
How do they learn the lessons if I am always there to pick them up when they
fall? The answer is, if they keep beating their heads against the wall and don’t
listen to sound advice that you offer “pull the plug” and say “no”. The “no “you
say requires no explanation. It has to be a firm “no”. In order to learn the lesson
and receive the blessing your loved ones must be given the opportunity to figure
things out on their own. If you always step in to rescue them what you are doing
is crippling them. If they are not allowed to make decisions and suffer the
consequences they will not grow or mature in life. They can pull on your
heartstrings with their sad stories, but you must be firm. If you truly want to be
your brother’s keeper you have to allow him or her to experience the pain of
making life decisions that sometimes don’t make for a happy ending. Remember,
“no pain, no gain”. The next time you feel the need to fix someone else’s
situation pause and use your discernment to know the difference between help
and enabling. If it’s enabling do not intervene. In retrospect, you will feel much
better knowing you were truly your brother’s keeper and not an enabler. Thumbs
up, like, and share.
Marvin Dixon, Founder
Vmgreview.com
VMG Review 