Guilt Trips
I am sure you are familiar with the term “guilt trip”. Certain individuals use guilt
to make others feel as though they have done something wrong. In essence, what
happened is they did not get what they wanted. The meaning of guilt according
to Psych Central is “the sense that harm was done to you or another and you are
the one to blame”. Some people use guilt as a way to maneuver the situation to
cause certain things to work out in their favor. We have all experienced guilt trips
at one time or another. There may have been times when you had to refuse a
friend or family member’s request for assistance because of your situation at that
time. When they didn’t get what they wanted they immediately went into guilt-tripping mode to try and sway you. They come to you with sad stories that they
know will pull on your heartstrings. You want to say “no” because you are in no
position to help. You dismiss logic and agree to help. What you’ve now done is
make a problem for yourself. Your first rule of thumb when assisting others
should be “Don’t borrow trouble”.
You cannot save the world. It is a good thing to help others but there is no way
you can be everything to everybody. You have to first take care of yourself. Do
not feel guilty about protecting yourself and your heart by saying “no”. There will
be times when your answer must be “no” with no explanation. Just put a period
behind the “no”-end of sentence. I have personally struggled with allowing guilt
to get to me. However, there are times when a stance must be taken to not allow
perceived guilt to evoke bad feelings. Others have a way of trying to guilt trip us
to get what they want or need. We must not fall prey to these guilt trips. In the
words of Melody Beattie, author of many self-help books “Guilt can prevent us
from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other
people’s best interest”. We have to realize that sometimes the best support we
can give our families and friends is to say “no” and allow them to solve their own
problems. We need not intervene and try to fix the situation. It is not for us to fix.
Let us allow those we care about to learn their life lessons on their own. Thumbs
up, like, and share.
Thumbs up, like, and share.
Marvin Dixon, Founder
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